More shocking census results
Stabroek News
June 2, 2004

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Last week's figures on marital relations as part of the Census 2002 results are now being disputed. A number of women said there were more home wreckers and real dogs out there while observing that it was possible to be married to a faithful husband and still be a long suffering female.

Point taken. This week more shocking results from the Bureau of Statistics.

US Embassy drilling for oil

Following an edict from President George Bush, US embassies around the globe have begun drilling for oil within their compounds. This is part of a frantic search to secure reserves as world prices skyrocket and is also something to do with the war on terror. As you can see from the picture, the embassy in Kingston is no exception.

Wednesday Ramblings' Business Department caught up with Chief Rig Engineer Roland Bullen, wearing a very dapper orange boiler suit, who told us it was early days. He said the seismic readings indicated some kind of deposit down there which might be oil or just a load of fossilised project documents from various government ministries.

"So far we have gone down about 500 ft and all we have unearthed is a lot of @#$! We are now drilling sideways and believe we have struck oil under the Prime Minister's office." Bullen denied the US was undermining the government by its actions and said, "if we strike it big we will be sharing the proceeds with y'all."

Corbin in new political move

PNCR leader Robert Corbin has officially been deemed a shut-in by the Ministry of Human Services.

In a letter to the press dictated to his wife from his bathroom, Corbin says he is unable to leave his home as long as Minister Ronald Gajraj is still in the country. Previously he had refused to attend events where Gajraj might have been present but he now believes that even breathing the same air is unacceptable. He will be holding a press conference next week from his bathtub.

Question of the Week

An angry parent...sleepovers. Is Reeaz Khan Guyana's Michael Jackson?