`HEAR DE GANGA’
SMALL DAYS IN BETERVERWAGTING
REMINISCENCES
BY HENRY RODNEY
Guyana Chronicle
May 9, 2004
“`I recall Lord Mud staggering home after a drinking spree. He stumbled on a brick on the road and fell on his face. He never would admit that he fell. He would say in his drawled tone, ‘Meh walkin’ good-good and de road suddenly come up an knock meh face, baps!’”
EVERYONE should be proud of the place in which he or she was born, and I am no exception. B.V or Baron, as it is also known to many, is situated on the East Coast of Demerara nine miles from Georgetown. This noble village is bordered by neighbours Mon Repos to the east, La Bonne Intention (LBI) to the west the Atlantic to the north and the backdam (savannahs) to the south. A true Guyanese village because it is composed of all the races; Africans, Indians, Portuguese, Amerindians, Chinese, Caucasian, Dougla, Buffiano and Santantone. The good the bad and the indifferent, the old, the young and the in between, the mad the crazy and the stupid.
Going back in time always unearths the sentiments and unending fun we’ve all experienced while growing up. So sit back and relax while I share with you my small days… real country side gaff. Ganga Time! – Hear de ganga!.
As a lil’ boy growing up, life in the village without tantalise and false name would have been boring. In BV, there were names like Hezekiah, Stir About, John Malulloo, Ritchic Pepper De Goat, Butter Man, Look- a- side, Koker Monkey, Jumbie Gaskin, Jumbie Chew Channa, Bucta Nut, Monkey Pouch, Monkey Spanner, Tuluptup, Jonny Bogoe, Parrot, Lip an’ Bam Bam, Lord Mud, Bar, Poops-in-de-panty, Beard Mooma to name a few. When asked `how many of you in BV now know Hezekiah’, a group of us would say `Heze’ while the other group would respond with `Kiah’! The Lord be with the person who is caught. Hezekiah would say to them, “Only seh `Heze’ – me cuff de ***** Kiah down yoh throat!”
One day `Bunso’, a hire car driver, knocked down one of Hezekiah’s ducks. Hezekiah turn up on de scene wid he axe of course. He seh, ‘who own dis kyarr?’ Bunso answered in the affirmative. Hezekiah seh ‘blow yoh kyarr horn foh meh’. Bunso did as commanded. He seh ‘good, you kyarr horn goh peep-peep, well leh me duck goh quack, quack! Bunso seh ‘how me goh bring back wan dead duck? Hezekiah responded: ‘Me nah kay! Me want back meh duck an meh want am liven- liven! Let me duck seh quack or meh chop off yoh kyarr bonet’! ‘Meh gon pay yoh ten dollah fah de duck’ said Bunso. Said Hezekia: Ten dollah! Quack, quack ah all meh want hear’! Bunso then decided to call the police. Is only then Hezekiah snatch the $10, picked up his duck and dashed into his yard.
Another character was Lord Mud. Never sober. One night, I recall Lord Mud staggering home after a drinking spree. He stumbled on a brick on the road and fell on his face. He never would admit that he fell. He would say in his drawled tone, ‘Meh walkin’ good-good and de road suddenly come up an knock meh face, baps!’ A woman picked him up and asked why he don’t stop drink. Lord Mud replied, ‘When dem stop meck rum me ah gon stop drink!’ `Can’t you be sober for just one day,’ the woman asked? Lord Mud seh `wha de use meh get sober den meh got foh get drunk all over again. Nah bes meh stay drunk?’ One day while he was drinking, a child walked into the shop and called for a box mosquito coil. When Mud heard this he said to his friends, ‘me nah know wha meck people ah buy mosquito cail, mosquita nah ah baddah me. Me does drink nuff rum, by de time dem masquita bite me, boop dem fall down… ah drunk dem drunk!’
It was back pay time for public servants and of course Lord Mud was the recipient of a lump sum for he was a clerk. Well you can guess what happened – the drinking started in America Street. It was night when the other men with him ‘throw in their towel’ so he sat alone to finish the session. After gulping the final glass of rum, he rose and staggered out the shop sauntering to the BV bus park. Quite noticeable to all was the impression of the thick wad of $20 bills in his back pocket. So two guys (pick pockets) decide to follow. They could not execute their plan because of the amount of people at the said park. They ended up joining the same car with the Mud. When they got to BV Main Road, Lord Mud requested to stop. He paid his fare (twenty five cents) and came out. To his surprise, the two guys paid and came out too. Mud became suspicious for they were not villagers. He increased his pace as the pick-pockets did the same. The road in to the village is long, dark and lonely for there were no street lights in those days and only a few homes enjoyed the luxury of electric light. As the guys closed in on Mud, he broke the silence as he reached the burial ground bridge. With his coarse voice he bellowed, ‘well boys-me nah know, bout ah yoh, but ah right yah me live!’ On hearing this and seeing him entering the burial ground and lying flat back on a tomb, the two darted with such speed that when Lord Mud raised up he didn’t see which direction they headed!
`Stick by me’
Jumbie Gaskin or Muyoh loved to beat up on children and young girls. He was ugly about seven times and he had a dutty powder black. Gaskin was not only ugly, but he was also dunce, ignorant and stupid. He used to cut cane, weed people’s yards and trim their coconut trees for a living. One day, he bought a Cathy radio (red) and he was at our corner when on the Best By Request Show, John Holt’s ‘Stick by me’ was playing. He loved that song. He stopped under the shade of our large sapodilla tree and sat taking in the music. Then the voice of Roland Phillips interrupted ‘and now for a word from our sponsor’. Gaskin said ‘me nah wan dah. Meh want hear `Stick by me!’ The Jingle came on ‘Keep bright, keep bright, Marmite. Gaskin, ‘meh she meh want `Stick by me!’. The next thing I know is the radio up in the air and landed with a crash. Batteries flying all over the place and the appliance totally disintegrated. He then picked up the pieces and threw them in the canal. So I asked: ‘Mr. Gaskin wha happen deh?. He said: ‘He hard ears! Ah me buy am, an me goh tell am wha me want hear. Well me just lick am down pon e face an ah man wha bin ah talk, talk, me drowned am ah canal!’
Another day, he was asked to trim the Samuels coconut trees. They were seven in number so he charge a total of seventy five cents. He climbed the trees with such ease and in no time they were all trimmed. To Mrs. Samuels surprise, it was very neatly done so she decided to double Gaskins requested amount. She said: “Gaskin, man you do a good job hey man – ah gon give yoh one fifty ($1.50). Gaskin said “Wha! One fifty… ah seventy five cent meh tell yoh – now yoh want rob meh! Yoh want gi meh me one fifty! Gi meh meh money straight! Seventy five cent! Ah nah call meh back!’
Gaskin prefers plenty small notes or coins rather than one large note or coin. This is ‘nuff money’ for him. One day himself and another man had to weed a yard. Of course, Gaskin did most of the weeding for he was very versed in this. When they were being remunerated, the other man was given three dollar notes and Gaskin got a five dollar note. Big confusion start in the yard. Hear Gaskin: “Ah me do de nuffer weeding an you ah gi me one money! An he wha do de lil bit-est get three money! Ah yoh like rob people to much!’ The man had to change up the five dollar note and give Gaskin before he actually accepted it. So Gaskin ended up with five money!
But my favourite village character was John Mallulloo (God rest the dead). I suppose John hold a world record! He had more names than any many in this whole wide world. You all want to know how he got all those names, nuh? Simple. Once John passed a group of people or any gathering on the street , whatever was being discussed as he passed, story start. He used to walk with a stick and attached to it was a long piece of electric wire. So when he swing it at the crowd, the Lord be with the one who was caught. I’ll list a few names John Mallullo had: Arthur Chung, Burnham, Cassuis Clay, Jagan Dog-Rice, Governor, Anar Saddat, Rex, Rover, Overseer, Chandi, Yacubu Gawan, Electric, Sugar Cake Sandwich, Money Bush, Salepenter, Julius Nyrere, Idi Amin, Pepsi. If I am to mention all the names he had, it will take up the entire newspaper.
But let me give you the last ‘Ganga’ bout John Mallulloo. As a lil boy growing up we were adventurous. Talk about ‘stray’! So, a day we gone till down by Ice-Baba to swim (at the bottom of the village). While playing ketcher in the canal, up came John with a boat load of spice mangoes. As he passed us, we would dive under the boat and take out a mango or two. This got John angry. So he moored the vessel in the corner and left to call he sister Dee-Dee about twelve hundred yards away. When John and Dee-Dee arrived on the scene, an empty boat was all that was in sight. Hear Dee-Dee: ‘Nex’ time dem do dah, yoh mus come right away!’
`You name it, we razzle it’
Well if you grew up in a village and didn’t partake in certain activities something was wrong… yoh too soft! We used to ‘razzle’ the people thing. Of course, it wasn’t stealing, we used to take without permission. We razzle genip, mango, dunks, sour sop, fowl, duck, banana, you name it, we razzle it. Miss Val had the sweetest genip in BV, but she doesn’t give away no matter who asked. So we decided to raid the tree this day as soon as it got dark. Me, Figi, Punishin, Drizzle, Bucket-mouth and Flounder. Like cats, we fly up in the tree and start filling our pouches. This was done by knotting the bottom of our shirts close to our stomachs and you place the bunches in. Satisfied with our booty, we all got out of the tree except Punishin. He had to clean the tree. So he pick and put in he pouch – pick and put in he pouch. But in the dark, you can’t see too well and he picked this big bunch – too big to be true! It was a Kwacoo nest (Kwacoo is the black and red marabuntas). when they started stinging he, he forgot the he in a tree. He let go everything including a scream as he came crashing to the ground – bap! Now he on the ground, writhing in pain. Miss Val open the side window and looked out to see the poor fellow on the ground. Then I see dis large white cup with a blue rim, you know the enamel cups dem old people used to keep under deh beds? Well, when se lean it you could see this yellow liquid laced with froth came cascading on Punishin stomach. This was kind of soothing for him as he cried out “ow, throw more”. Is not until the last of the yellow liquid dripped into his mouth that he realised it was wee-wee. With this he came to life and dashed for the fence crashing through the staves. He ran past us smelling like a rum shop urinal. He headed for the canal and plunged overboard. The next move was hospital. Up to this day Punishin’ doan like genuip.
`BV men: Advance, revance, attack, disattack’
While growing up, there were also a lot of feuds, gang fights, bank fights, village fights and the likes. There were fights among three rival East Coast Villages BV, Buxton and Plaisance. And each village had its own ‘bad man’. Now country people loved a band sport; you just make mention of Sid and the Slickers, Yoruba Singers, Mischievous Guys, Sound Dimension and you’ll hear the response. But the funniest fight I ever witnessed was between BV and Plaisance. Sid and the Slickers was playing at the BV community Centre. The people ram pack because this was a band for the young, old an in between. Daddy Rex was there, Boo, Alice, Chew Channa, Foodah- Sherwin, Baby Mack, Stella, Gertrude and all the sugar-foot villagers. The dance now in full swing and a Plaisance man ask Alice for a dance. Alice tell he she not dancing with lil boy. Well he hold on to she hand and would not let go. So Alice tell he ‘hi, you nah bring me hey! So leh go me han!’ And with that she push he off. Now he is to out he hand and slap the woman. This cause Boo to jump in and thrown some serious punches at the man. Bearing in mind, Boo was an old time boxer and Alice common law husband. Blows like rain foh de Plaisance man, so he partner decided to join the fracas. He ups a beer bottle and moving in to lash Boo in he head, when Daddy Rex (Alice father and stick fighter) swing his akeyah stick to knee, bringing him down to the floor. More and more people joined in the fight until it reached out on the road.
The BV men got the better of the Plaisance men with cuffs, kicks, butts, high fall and akeyah stick. The Plaisance men start to run while BV give chase. Daddy Rex gave the word of command – ‘BV men, ADVANCE!’ Every man jack up the road. When the Plaisance men got to the line top (now railway embankment road), out of the blues pipe line (galvanise) cutlass, Kwishir(pork-knife), crow-bar and other weapons men pulling from the bushes nearby. Now the people well armed, so they turn back on the BV bunch. When Daddy Rex see that, hear he `BV men – REVANCE’! Now the Plaisance chasing the BV mean back in the village. But by this time, more villagers join in the war. This time is pitch-fork, garden fork, scythe, axe, sledge hammer etc. This encouraged Daddy Rex so he tek back he position in front of the battalion. Hear he: ‘BV men ATTACK!!” Man, Plaisance men find some gears, all yoh seeing is dust! When they got to line we hear a power saw start up and then a man from the front rank shout “ow… dem ah t’row acid!’ Hear Daddy Rex `DISATTACK’! Well don’t talk, about fifty men running back in the village and nobody ain’t in second position. Holy Smoke! Talk about run.
By this time, the land rover with police come up and everybody scatter. What a fight. But them days can never come back.