Breaking News: Gay nudists plan invasion of Guyana
February 18, 2004
The greatest danger facing Guyana is not the inability of the foreign minister to fly to America, nor that Comrade Ramjattan has been expelled from the PPP. He will persevere. Nor is it that Robert Persaud is an Alistair Campbell wannabe. He too shall realise that demanding an apology is counterproductive.
No, the greatest threat is that a group of gay nudists have decided to adopt Guyana for a new social experiment.(Watch out Bishop Edghill, they could be right behind you! Head for the hills!) It would not be the first time and what with a Moonie advocate for a Mayor, Guyana continues to be an attractive place for cult followers.
As soon as the Wednesday Ramblings executive committee (Hey! Every organisation must have an Exco) was informed of this news, it contacted the central committee which in turn set up an exploratory committee which dispatched our Pulitzer prize-winning Investigative Unit to conduct an exhaustive search of the internet.
This is their interim report and what you will read below is completely true and so not...
The organisation is called Nasalam, and its goal is to create in Guyana some kind of eco-anarchic state. Given that the country is pretty much on its way to full-blown anarchy this would not be too much of a stretch although it is unclear if they want "the natives" to join in or they want to set up a commune for themselves.
Let's read the words of Nasalam's founder, William Uriel Andros who says that in many previous incarnations he has created "a spiritual awareness that will change the course of history." Here is his introduction to Nasalam:
"Many prophets and seers, both contemporary and from various aboriginal traditions, have suggested that we are on the verge of planetary changes that will cleanse the earth and radically change our reality. We believe that whether that will happen - and how it might happen - can be determined by the spiritual activity of people of evolved consciousness gathered together to utilise the energy of this time to establish a new paradigm for humanity. The creation of that new paradigm is the goal of Nasalam."
Ok...So far so good, a little weird but we can handle it....
He writes that after many years of work and meditation "...The result was a strong conviction of what this community must be like in order to accomplish its purpose. And since 1995 a lot of time, energy and money have been put into trying to create this community, with limited success. It eventually seemed that it might be easier to do this work away from the materialism of the United States and the question was raised whether it might make sense to move to a less developed country in the tropics.
"Some sort of resolution to this dilemma was reached in the final days of 2003 when a surprising combination of experiences led to the realisation that it was time to begin to prepare to move in order to complete the work Nasalam was created to accomplish."
And guess where they want to move? But why Guyana? Why Now? Why? Why? Enquiring minds want to know.
"The kind of work Nasalam envisions doing - creating a group dedicated to creating a society that can change the world - requires a very special group of people able to commit themselves to both personal and spiritual growth. It also means creating a new kind of community structure designed to promote personal freedom in an atmosphere of social stability. Two models that seem particularly helpful are the ancient tribal system and the philosophy of eco-anarchism."
Of course Guyana with its social stability combined with tribalism and anarchy was the obvious choice, Silly us!
"Another goal to eat only food that we grow ourselves, and part of working toward that goal is to learn to gradually eliminate foods that cannot be grown in our ecosystem."
Sounds like the Produce or Perish campaign reincarnated. They need to meet Satyadeow Sawh.
But there is another reason for choosing Guyana, the Atlantean crystal. You know, the one rescued from the lost city of Atlantis. Apparently in 1981 "there began a remarkable series of visions concerning a crystal and the opportunity it represented to establish a society unlike any other on the planet.
"Physically, the crystal appears to be a single quartz-like crystal about three feet in diameter and highly faceted. It apparently functions as a "transformer" sensitive to certain brainwave patterns and is capable of greatly magnifying the mental images projected into it. It has been called the seed-crystal of the planet."
And it seems that some lunatic looked into that crystal, saw Guyana and had the very sensible idea of coming down here and setting up shop.
Actually the crystal which is hidden somewhere is "a virtual crystalline incarnation of the spirit of Melchizedek, the spiritual being who brought the teachings of the spiritual hierarchy to the Earth."
Never heard of the guy. Wasn't he in Lord of the Rings?
Which brings us to the Order of Melchizedek and how this community would slip easily into Guyanese society. The order already has a commune in the Ozarks in South West Missouri where they use compost toilets (pit latrines), the contents of which they deploy on their vegetables. Apart from being vegetarians and mostly men... The site makes clear that the "minimal expectation of new people ...is that they participate in the same-sex erotic massage that is a part of the interpersonal bonding necessary. This means that they participate in giving and receiving massage with the other men in the group. This is an important part of developing the strong bonds needed to accomplish the goals of this group to use sex magic techniques in conjunction with the Atlantean crystal. New members are expected to actively develop intimate relations with all other members.
This is NOT, quite obviously, the place for those who desire exclusive, monogamous relationships. It IS the place for those wanting to live as part of an intimate erotic family. Nudity encourages a sex-positive environment, quite necessary for healthy tantric practice, so we are a clothing optional community. Residents are likely to be nude much of the time, particularly when the weather is warm and clothing is not necessary.
"Plans to construct a second building to house women as part of the tribal lifestyle we wish to develop. This may have to be modified temporarily if there are women who wish to participate in the journey to South America."
It sounds suspiciously like a gay nudist colony if only they were not playing around with some rather strange ideas about how they could use the crystal to change the world:
"The first thing that came to mind was correcting the tilt of the planet, thereby eliminating extreme seasons and restoring the mythic "golden age" to the planet. Just that one change would have enormous long-range effects as people around the world no longer were forced to deal with extremes of cold."
Very, very radical dude.
Conclusion of the WR Investigative Unit
It is not clear at what stage, plans to move to Guyana are in and whether Geoff Da Silva of Go-Invest has been contacted for concessions on investments.
Plan of Action: Post immigration officers at all ports of entry. Hold anyone coming in wearing kaftans and/or Birkenstock sandals or possibly carrying a large throbbing crystal.