52% of young people are totally depressed/suicidal
Wednesday Ramblings..
Stabroek News
July 16, 2003

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Could this be the era of the surveys what with the ROC report that 45% of young people want to leave Guyana? ... Anyway, we are never ones to let a good thing pass so we have also been out on the streets gathering information from young people on the job.
Here are the results of our scientific survey of 500 youths and it makes for some very, very sober reading especially the alarming finding that 100% of them were between the ages of 16 and 22.
Which answer best describes whether you are happy with your job?
A. “You must be joking?” 35%
B. “You try peeling shrimps 12 hours a day for peanuts” 12%
C. “How much are they paying you?” 14%
D. “Lend me a gun I want to shoot my boss” 33%
E “Look, move from here!” 6%
Where do you expect your career to be in five years?
A. I hope to be manager, if 45% of the people above me leave 17%
B. Picking the same $#%&* shrimp 63%
C. “In jail after I shoot my boss” 20%

Do you think Guyanese are paranoid?

A. “What the hell does that mean?” 65%
B. “Why you asking?” 22%
C. “Yes, but don’t mention my name” 13%

If you could live anywhere in Guyana where would that be?

A Richmond Hill 95%
B Friendship 2% (those people living in Buxton)
C “Where my house lot is, but I can’t get loan for build. Sharma help me!” 3%
What is the meal you most eat?

Chicken fried rice 14%
Chicken curry 15%
Fried chicken 22%
“Chicken, chicken... every day the same damn chicken, I’m growing wings here!” 49%

How would you describe your current frame of mind?

A Totally utterly depressed 34%
B Way beyond depression into a valley of deep despair 52%
C Ever hopeful I have in my possession the winning lottery ticket 14%

Parliamentary report

The AC can now consult with the GPSU, the SSA and FUGE on nominees to the PSC after MPs approved a motion last week.
Nominees to the JSC and the TSC are also complete and the ERC, along with the PMC, the SSC and the various SC’s. With all these C’s the PUC has been asked to leave which the Chairman says is BS describing the MP’s as SOB’s

A young child was tragically crushed yesterday in what neighbours are saying was a very, very tragic event. According to eyewitnesses an East Coast family was awaiting what was to be the joyful return of a relative from the US. As the minibus was swinging into the yard, 5-year-old Jason was jumping up and down in excitement close to the pathway. His aunt came out of the bus and he rushed to her asking if she had brought the big toy truck he had asked for. His aunt then pulled out a big and very, very heavy suitcase and placed it close to the child before saying No. Poor Jason was so crushed. He started bawling at the top of his lungs and despite the frenzied efforts of his family and a public-spirited citizen who rushed him inside, it was too late, the truck was lost forever...or until next year. Watch out for more stories in the unmentionable newspaper guaranteed to grab headlines bigger than the actual articles!

Man gets five years for killing stepdaughter
Woman gets three months for killing cousin
Man gets 15 years for chopping woman’s arms off
Man beaten to death in prison for allegedly knocking his donkey

Dear WR Editor
I take the strongest exception to the humour contained in last week’s Caption Competition where the writer suggested President Jagdeo was inspecting a top secret nuclear facility.
To even suggest as you do that Guyana may have such a facility is risking the displeasure of the United States with whom we have excellent relations. Serious sanctions could follow that would cripple this country even more than when it was under the rule of the despotic PNCR. You are playing with fire! We, the government/PPP/C strongly condemn this untoward attempt at humour and strongly suggest you cease and desist from making such observations before we become a part of the axis of evil.
And for readers who may not know, the President was in fact visiting the brand new $3M Topco juice factory, an investment which proves Guyana is on the move


Relative/connection to the President and his official mouthpiece

Question of the week

How Freudian a slip was it when at the WPO conference last weekend a speaker introduced the former President as Mrs Janet Jagdeo?