Tips for The Chronic
Wednesday Ramblings..
Stabroek News
May 28, 2003

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Don’t you just love the Chronic’s Tip Line? Very innovative journalism: “We can’t be bothered to investigate so you do it for us.”

Our tip would be to report their own egregious crime against journalism that is evident every day on the paper’s pages.

A bunch of regurgitated GINA press releases on increased output in the cash crop sector and reports on exciting development projects in the hinterland is about the sum of its parts. But we could not forget those sycophantic letters often contradicting others never published on its pages. Last week’s gaggle of epistles criticising the US Ambassador’s comments on Guyana’s crime situation particularly missed the point. But these were not as laughable as one by Albert Karran, a citizen who felt so moved by improvements in the health sector over the last ten years that he had to let the country know all about it.

The obscure spat over GIHA and IAC (if you don’t know what it is all about, then don’t ask) absolves the IAC of having any pro PPP role..(Phew thank God for that) and that GIHA is really a front organisation for ROAR. “I hope these few lines would be of help ....” writes one Anjanie Singh. As if anyone really gives a flying f$#%*.

Then you have the quirkier variety as in a letter from P Phipps who proposes extracting the estimated 25M tonnes of gold found in the sea.... Ok ... It takes all sorts to make a nation.

Alex Fernandez was also moved enough to write a letter declaring the road linking Regions 8 and 9 as “a great and historic achievement.”

Maria Henderson was also enthused over improvements in the health sector and kindly wrote a report on the turning of the sod at the New Amsterdam hospital noting that Dr Ramsammy had said the government realised that they had to work on a number of fronts to deliver proper health care to meet the needs of the people.

Debra Rawlins writes of “the determined and dedicated effort to improve the standard of living ..of Amerindians..” Thanks Debra for the plug ...oops... info.

Friday’s Chronic had Alexander Dawson keen for citizens to know that the PPP “had established and maintained a good track record in its commitment to and support of a democratic form of government.” At this point readers are expected to exclaim “Really? I feel so much better knowing that!”

On Tuesday we hear of another “historic” event... a visit to Ituni by Philomena Sahoye-Shury “this great lady.. please send her for one week...and all our problems would be solved” ... writes Anne Daniels. If only it were that simple, Anne.

Omesh Persaud reminds readers that the health sector is “doing exceedingly well” as he valiantly come to the defence of Prem Misir.

Ernie Jackson in a May 17 letter laments the disappearance of the government’s hardworking ministers: “We like to see them on television and hear them on the radio adumbrating and explaining their programmes and policies... “ Who exactly is “We” and from which planet does Ernie and they come from?

On May 16 Ernest Graham is moved to write of the unheralded successes in the much maligned Ministry of Home Affairs including the opening of a General Register in Anna Regina. Yipee!

One letter in this edition is headlined, “Happy about new cell phone service” and signed “Frustrated Resident” Go figure.

On May 15 Wesley Stephenson gushes over the appointment of Ambassador Ishmael as Chairman of the Permanent Council of the OAS (Yawn) At a recent meeting, Ishmael made a “masterful and impressive summing up ..most statesman like, very firm..” Err, Thanks Wesley!

On May 14 Anil Ramper-saud simply must write to declare his feelings on the most transparent process for receiving house lots. “This system and procedure ensures the fullest integrity and transparency and the different officials cut across all racial and party lines.” Anil, Get a life.

Samantha Jarvis also writes about the serious attention that has been paid to youth development under the President’s Youth Choice Initiative.

And Amanda Dawson tells the nation that “the government is clearly committed to the continued promotion of providing jobs especially for our youth.”

We can only hope that these persons don’t actually exist. After all how many John Da Silvas can one country bear?

A primary school lesson for Mayor Green
A private school is arranging a tour of the city to look for examples of pollution. How hard will this be?
Perhaps Mayor Green needs reminding of his duties as set out in the textbook ‘Social Studies for our Children’:
1. Keeping the environment of the city clean by providing garbage disposal services
2. Repairing streets and bridges
3. Maintaining parks, avenues and other recreational facilities
4. Maintaining markets and abattoirs
5. Inspecting eating houses
6. Providing health and day care centres.
(Sadly no mention of endless sermons on moral and spiritual values.)
The book advises teachers “to arrange a trip to a town or city hall find out as much as you can about how a city or town is organised.”
It would be a wonder if Green is actually in his office instead of being away on another Moonie junket.

Ravi moonlights at Cannes
An article in Sunday’s newspaper had reported that Ravi Dev was not available to comment on equal access to the state media and would not be back in the country until next week. All was revealed on Monday when he was seen escorting Liz Hurley to a Cannes film Festival charity bash. We would like to congratulate Mr Dev on his excellent taste.

Question of the week
What happened to the baked chicken?

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