Beauty contests are really not all that important in the grand scheme of things. In any case, it is not as if there is, or ever could be, such a thing as the most beautiful woman in the world, never mind the universe. Norms of physique, somatic norms, cultural norms and individual taste are too diverse to ever make the concept of 'most beautiful' truly meaningful. What those who rule in the beauty business have done, is to stylize female pulchritude by laying down parameters for features such as height and shape. This means that competitions can operate with a simplified range of possibilities for comeliness, and everyone knows what to aim for.
In more recent times the beauty barons have done something else too. They have added an 'intelligence' component to the contests. Assuming, therefore, that all the girls in a given international pageant meet the physical requirements, and that they have all learned stage presentation and the requisite swimsuit strut, then all that is left to distinguish one from the next is what they call 'intelligence.'
In fact, it is not intelligence really, or at least, not intelligence alone. It is in part an ability to project an engaging personality; in part a capacity for fluency; in part a veneer of sophistication; and in large part, a solid education. Indeed, if a contestant has a really sound educational background coupled with a certain extroversion and self-confidence, the sophistication and fluency will most likely look after themselves.
Well, last Tuesday evening the nation was treated to the spectacle of the first leg of the local Miss Guyana Universe competition - the 'intelligence' segment. The host for the evening was the effervescent and poised Ms Wendy Fitzwilliam, a former Miss Universe herself, and no slouch, therefore, when it comes to identifying the qualities required of a contestant. If she was nonplussed by some of the perverse and inappropriate answers she received to her questions, she never let on, maintaining her composure throughout. Which is, no doubt, more than can be said for many of the members of her Guyanese TV audience, who would have been rolling around their living rooms in mirth.
The entertainment of the public was presumably equal in ratio to the mortification of the contestants. But if their inadequacies in the question and answer segment of the competition revealed anything at all, it was the collapse of educational standards in this country. Once upon a time, girls from a variety of backgrounds could have entered a pageant of this kind, and they all would have had the benefit of a good basic education at a minimum, and been possessed of some knowledge of local and world affairs.
Being rather better read than the current generation in general, they would also have understood straightforward questions put to them, and would have been able to answer coherently. Furthermore, although they didn't have 'platforms' in the earlier days, had it been necessary, they would have had the educational skills to research these, and adapt their knowledge to any questions asked.
For those who are a little unclear about what useful purpose beauty contests serve - other than as entertainment, that is - Ms Mpule Kwelagobe, a former Miss Universe herself, eloquently explained when she was in Guyana last year. She told a TV interviewer in so many words that there were few opportunities in the developing world for women of talent and ambition to move into the international arena, and that the Miss Universe contest (and presumably the Miss World) offered one such opening.
No doubt all of our current contestants would echo her words. However, the truth of the matter is, for most of them there was a yawning chasm between their international ambitions and their ability to fulfil them. One can only wonder why it is that the organizers did not sift out the applicants more rigorously, rather than subjecting them to the kind of public humiliation they had to endure last week.
If it is that there are not sufficient girls of education applying to take part in the contest, then the franchise holders must give themselves sufficient time to campaign among women with the attributes they are looking for to become applicants. In addition, they probably need to start preparing girls a year in advance, so they learn how to present themselves when answering questions, and so that they can actually start doing real work for their 'platforms,' rather than cramming information about them. There surely can be nothing more unfair than sending up a contestant who cannot pass muster in the relatively benign environment of her homeland, into the unforgiving spotlight of the international stage.
In the meantime, all those in the beauty business locally, could do worse than spread the message among the pretty young girls of this country, that if they dream of being Miss Universe or Miss World one day, then education, education, education is the key. If they have a really good education, then it won't matter if they make Miss Universe or not; they will still have many other options in life. If they don't have a decent education, they won't have a hope in hell of being Miss Universe, and they won't have many other options in life either.